When
Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? first premiered a couple years ago, the general opinion seemed to be that it was just the latest example of our culture’s steepening decline, as though quizzing adults about grade school science was one step above televised bear baiting.
I’ve never really understood this response: even if the average adult can’t answer basic questions about geography, that’s not the show’s fault. Jay Leno is guilty of a lot of things, but those idiots on his Jaywalking segments aren’t his responsibility. (The fact that he stole the bit wholesale from Howard Stern, on the other hand…)
An aside: Yeah, I realize my logic opens up room for all sorts of over-the-top analogies—“If people are wilding on meth, it’s not World’s Craziest Tweakers fault!” and so on—but come on, this isn’t Metafilter…let’s keep the debate team wankery to a minimum. Anyway, I have to wonder if the people bemoaning the existence of the show have ever really watched it, because I've found that, far from being an
Idiocracy deleted scene, it’s actually quite difficult, certainly the straight-up hardest prime time game show around. (Seriously, if I answer two out of every five questions correctly I'm happy.)
The questions are very straightforward, and you either know the answer or you don’t. Unlike on
Jeopardy, you can’t make an educated guess based on an excessively wordy question. And you have to actually know the answer: the questions aren’t multiple choice.
The questions are grade school subjects, of course, and for a trivia show, there’s remarkably little trivia being asked about. And that’s probably the worst part of how hard the show is…every single question is something you know you need to know about. In a way, it’s really remarkable that a straight-up general knowledge quiz has snuck unto American television. What is this, BBC Radio?
Here are a few recent questions off the top of my head:
- In what century was Shakespeare born?
- Only two elements are liquid at room temperature. One is bromide; what is the other?
- Who was the first pilot to break the sound barrier?
- Budapest is the capital of which European country?
- How many members are there in the U.S. House Of Representatives?
(Answers in the comments.) Question three up there was the recent million dollar question, and that reminds me of another aspect of the show I really like: you choose the order in which you answer the questions. That is, instead of starting at $100 and moving upwards
a la Millionaire, you can pick whichever question you want. You have to answer them all, of course, but you can do it in any order. (Except for the big one, of course, which is always last.)
I remember, during the height of
Millionaire, seeing Regis on
Good Morning America defending the first few super-easy questions, because they’re for the kids who watch the show with their parents, to make them feel better about knowing a few of the answers. Not to get too cheesy, but this is an aspect of
Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? that I really like. But with this show, not only can the kids watch along with their parents...they can presumably clown them, too.
I guess one reason people dismiss the show—aside from Jeff Foxworthy’s participation, of course; my revisionist defense of so-called blue collar comedy and Foxworthy specifically will have to wait for another day—is from the misconception that the adults are playing
against the kids. That’s actually not true…the kids aren't really competing with the contestants so much as they're available to help them. It's a little hard to explain, but they're kinda potential lifelines the contestants can poll.
(Actually, the use of the kids on the show is a little pointless and could probably be retooled. A great way to do this would be to make their "earnings" more dependent on their performance. As it is, they all get a $25,000 savings bond at the end of the season, across the board.)
One actually sorta touching aspect of the show is how excited for the contestants the kids get, especially as they get closer to winning a million dollars. I don't know when we as a species acquire our
schadenfreude, but it seems to be post-fifth-grade…
*
Moving on...apparently there are a ton of international versions of the game--just what Mark Burnett needs, more money--and Wikipedia, of course, has
an exhaustive list of every single one. Here, though, is a very abbreviated list of my favorites:
Argentina ¿Sabés más que un chico de 5to grado? Austria Dreizehn(Huh?)
Belgium Slimmer Dan Een Kind Van 10? Bulgaria Това го знае всяко хлапе! Brazil Você é Mais Esperto Que um Aluno da Quinta Série? Colombia ¿Sabes más que un niño de primaria? Czech Republic Jsi chytřejší než páťák? Denmark Er Du Klogere End En 10-Årig? France Êtes vous plus fort qu’un élève de 10 ans? Germany Das weiß doch jedes Kind! Greece Είσαι πιο έξυπνος από ένα δεκάχρονο India Bade Hue To Kya Hua?(Can you imagine how tough this version must be...? Who could possibly be smarter than an Indian fifth grader?)
Hungary Okosabb vagy, mint egy 5.-es? Iceland Ertu skarpari en skólakrakki? Netherlands Ben je slimmer dan een kind? But…the absolute best is the English version of the Canadian edition, hilariously titled
Are You Smarter Than A Canadian 5th Grader? (Post continues in the comments.)
