Method Izaz

Izaz Rony is a unique portrait photographer: you give him your daily schedule, and he surreptitiously takes pictures of you living your life:

http://www.methodizaz.com/

I love the form at the bottom. It's like something from a Paul Auster novel.

Sacrifice The Face

Oh, you think you're hardcore? You're not hardcore...CHARLIE ROSE is hardcore:

http://www.techcrunch.com/2008/03/17/charlie-rose-face-plants-to-save-his-macbook-air/

Not just for the face plant, but for being like "fuck it" and going back to work.

Affluenza: March 19

Okay, don't get too excited. I know this digital replica of the classic Rolleiflex camera is heart-stoppingly beautiful and shockingly affordable:

http://theonlinephotographer.typepad.com/the_online_photographer/2008/03/new-rolleiflex.html

but read the article again after you've calmed down a little: it's a MINIATURE replica...it's three inches high. Basically, this is a glorified keychain.

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The Kengsington "Pram":

http://www.luxist.com/2008/03/15/kengsington-pram/

For another thirty-three hundred, you could probably buy a kid to put in it.

From the same site, this insane solid mahogany rocking horse:

http://www.luxist.com/2008/03/18/dressage-rocking-horse/

and this (ugly) high chair:

http://www.luxist.com/2008/03/19/leopard-print-highchair/

I bet you guys are super-pissed that there's a website called Luxist and I've never linked to it before, huh? Well, nothing says "high-end luxury" like "owned and operated by America Online"!

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ZUse (sic), a toaster concept that will finally bring my dream of Galaga toast to life:

http://www.inseq.net/zuse.html

Though I have a feeling Inseq Design would deny to their dying breath that this is anything as vulgar as a toaster. "It's an activator for the digitalization process of toast! It transcends the dominant toast paradigm!"

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When I first heard of these Chalkboard Napkin Rings, I rolled my eyes. But seeing them in action, I have to say they look cute and clever.

http://www.momastore.org/museum/moma/ProductDisplay_Chalkboard%20Napkin%20Rings_10451_10001_47169

Sixty-five bones, but your mother would like to point out that you could buy wooden napkin rings and chalkboard paint for like seven bucks.

(Is there a creepier phrase than "workshops for the physically challenged in Germany"? Arbeit macht frei!)

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Janine Golbert Jewelry:

http://www.roadsidescholar.com/2008/03/14/janine-golbert-jewelry/

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Dutch designer Nienke Sybrandy has taken ASCII art to a whole 'nother level:

http://www.nsybrandy.nl/html/ZTmV07Gordijnen.html

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With a name like "Letters Of Marque," Affluenza is pretty much guaranteed to feature whatever it is. Oh, it's a lingerie line inspired by the 17th century? Even better!

http://www.lettersofmarque.com/ [Obviously I trust my readers will know that the website of a lingerie company is NSFW.]

I like a lot of these pieces, actually. Most fancy underwear is so pretentious, and the majority of it looks like something a chubby girl would buy for her dire burlesque routine. These have an understated elegance I really dig, though.

The kicker, of course, is that Letters Of Marque is designed by Stacey Dash, known for:

-being the sister of Damon Dash
-her role in Clueless
-being the only person in this world who may prompt me to utter the utterly vulgar phrase "MILF."

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I like both the idea and the design of the Still Life, a space-saving wall-mounted fruit storage solution:

http://www.impactlab.com/2008/03/12/off-the-wall-fruit/

"Fruit should be stored in single layers, so keeping it in crispers or fruit bowls isn't the best alternative, unless the fruit is turned regularly. [...] Also, did you know that it's important to store fruit and vegetables separately?"

So let me get this straight: not only do you bust my balls because I don't get my fruit at Whole Foods or some dingy farmer's market, but now you're gonna tell me what to do when I get it home? Foodies!

His take on Ron Paul is surprisingly nuanced, however...

[An excerpt from an interview with rapper DMX.]

Q: Are you following the presidential race?

A: Not at all.

Q: You're not? You know there's a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there's Hillary Clinton.

A: His name is Barack?!

Q: Barack Obama, yeah.

A: Barack?!

Q: Barack.

A: What the fuck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?

Q: Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.

A: Barack Obama?

Q: Yeah.

A: What the fuck?! That ain't no fuckin' name, yo. That ain't that nigga's name. You can't be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.

Q: You're telling me you haven't heard about him before.

A: I ain't really paying much attention.

Q: I mean, it's pretty big if a Black...

A: Wow, Barack! The nigga's name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain't his fuckin' name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, "Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit" [laughs] "That ain't your fuckin' name." Your momma ain't name you no damn Barack.

http://www.xxlmag.com/online/?p=20332

Two Ways Of Misunderstanding The Spitzer Scandal

When the Spitzer scandal first broke on Monday, all the headlines said that there was proof he was "involved" with a prostitution ring. In retrospect, that makes journalistic sense: there was proof that he wired a shit-ton of money to the Emperors Club, but the papers couldn't claim as fact that the money was used as payment for sex.

But when I saw the headline Spitzer Had Ties To Upscale Escort Agency, my mind didn't immediately go to "john." At first I thought it was another tempest in a teapot..like, someone had discovered he co-owned a condo that was used for a rendezous, or he had invested in a modelling agency run by a friend, not knowing the true nature of the business.

Then, when I clicked over to Google News, and saw that basically every newspaper in the world was reporting Spitzer Involved In Prostition Ring, I thought it meant that Spitzer was RUNNING the prostitutes. And I was busy, had a lot going on, so I actually spent most of the day thinking that.

Here's a fun thought experiment: how would the past week have been different if the world saw the lights of the Goodyear blimp and it said Governor Eliot Spitzer's a pimp?

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Moving on to the prostitute in question, it's weird that most media outlets are going with the worst picture of her...the one where she's giving a backwards peace sign with her black fingernails:

http://gothamist.com/2008/03/12/spitzers_kriste.php

Or they go with the second worst picture of her, the one from her MySpace page:

http://www.myspace.com/ninavenetta

(I have no idea how long that last one will be up. Also, even by the standards of MySpace, the comments on her site are PRICELESS.)

She's clearly an attractive girl--though after an exhaustive inspection of the Emperors' Club website cache, I can say she wouldn't have been my first choice if I had $5000 burning a hole in my pocket--but she doesn't seem very photogenic.

In fact, she seems really, uh, masculine in those pictures, and this caused my second misunderstanding of the Spitzer scandal: for about ten minutes, I wondered mightily if the real story was that Spitzer had hooked up with a transvestite, and--like the "involved with" and "tied to" issue above--the newspapers couldn't actually SAY that.

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Talking about this today, nearly a week too late, is really just a way for me to link to this interesting FAQ about the scandal, put together by the New York Times:

http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/03/13/the-times-answers-spitzer-scandal-questions/index.html

Note that they clear up the cause of my first misunderstanding. (They maintain their silence on the tranny issue.)

I wish the Times would do this for all big news stories. Hell, I wish there was a site that just compiled these.

Jason Earles

[WARNING: This post is super-creepy. Do not read it alone.]

Have you ever watched Hannah Montana? No, of course you haven't, but maybe you've seen even two seconds of the show, long enough to catch a glimpse of Hannah's 17-year-old brother:

http://www.buddytv.com/articles/hannah-montana/profile/jason-earles.aspx

Well, get ready: that thing is 31 years old. It was born in 1977, and graduated college in '00. The upsetting little man even found someone to marry him.

But mostly I'm writing because if you've ever wondered what it would look like if a bunch of home-schooled autistics recreated All The President's Men, you'll enjoy the long-range investigation into Mr. Earle's age carried out on his Wikipedia article's Discussion page:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Jason_Earles

LOVE ... CAKE

In 1995, Pulp released one of the best singles of the 90s, "Common People." Jamie Hewlett (of Tank Girl and Gorillaz fame) drew a six-page mini-comic as a companion piece to the single:

http://www.pulpwiki.net/Pulp/CommonPeopleComic

That wasn't the last comic adaptation of the classic song, however:

http://www.the-isb.com/?p=308

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Yes, everyone in the entire world, I know that William Shatner covered it and I know you think it fucking rocks. THANK YOU FOR SHARING. IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME.

OUR STORY, by William Stafford

Remind me again—together we
trace our strange journey, find
each other, come on laughing.
Some time we'll cross where life
ends. We'll both look back
as far as forever, that first day.
I'll touch you—a new world then.
Stars will move a different way.
We'll both end. We'll both begin.

Remind me again.

Correction

"CNN apologized today for getting on-air analysis of Gov. Spitzer's legal options from a former U.S. Attorney who resigned after being accused of biting a stripper."

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/nation/5612104.html

The academic citation was a nice touch...

[A sign in the bathroom of San Francisco pizza place Little Star.]

DEAR POTENTIAL GRAFFITI "ARTISTS,"

Whether or not it says so in so many words, the fuck you message is implicit in the use of graffiti as communication. The medium itself implies alienation, discontentment, marginality, repression, resentment, rebellion: no matter what it says, graffiti always implies a "fuck you". Though addressing the larger society in this contemptuous manner may be a secondary or even tertiary element of the graffiti writer's agenda, this element always lurks in the background of every graffito on every wall. (Phillips 1999:23)

Honestly we rather you give us the finger on the way out than destroy our mirror, garbage can, and walls.
And we already have enough graffiti on our walls.

With love,
Little Star

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And here's a similar note asking the political artist who tagged a public school to contribute to its repainting:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/gammablablog/516149765/