Wednesday, January 16

Affluenza: January 16

It's only January 16, and I think we already have the Affluenza Product Of The Year.

The idea is, if you have a newborn baby and far-away relatives can't visit, you can have a commemorative baby-sized rice package featuring your infant's photo sent to them, so that they can "hold" your baby, too. Uh, genius!

Seriously, check this shit out:


The best part: the rice bags are individually weighted to reflect the baby's weight!


I like these stainless steel and concrete rings, and I *love* the packaging:

Hey, you wanna see those same rings with none of the understated elegance? Voila:

Gross. Dirty. And worst of all, ugly. Now dig this: the "male" ring is the one with the diamond on it, so I guess it's actually the one the lady wears. So that gives the whole humiliating mess a totally different, way dirtier spin. Bravo!


This notebook's cover is made from a Braille magazine, so I guess by buying this you're totally saving the Earth from all those Braille magazines that are choking the world's landfills. Doesn't that make you feel better about the planet? Whatever you do, don't stop driving everywhere!

I like this, has a pleasingly simple yet intricate design.

But mostly I'm posting this so I can say: there's a Braille edition of Seventeen magazine!? Ha!


An Open Flame Is The New Bowl Of Rocks, part of a continuing series:

A reader writes: "What does An Open Flame Is The New Bowl Of Rocks mean, anyway?"

A few years ago, a trend that could roughly be called "organic minimalism" went mainstream, which basically consisted of decorating with crap you found in your backyard. (Or, more accurately, crap Anthropologie found in their backyard.) So, like, suddenly a centerpiece didn't have to be a could be a branch of a dogwood tree. Or a piece of driftwood. Or some feathers tied together with twine.

This movement especially loved rocks: a single rock on a shelf, a small pile of rocks on a sideboard, or even a few flat rocks placed directly on the floor in the corner of a room. West Elm went particularly crazy with this, and soon every page of their catalog seemed to feature a bowl of rocks somewhere in the display.

So when I started seeing all these stupid open flames everywhere, they reminded me of the previous trend for stupid bowls of rocks everywhere. Hence, an open flame is the new bowl of rocks.


Seriously, lady?



Look at this super-cute model forced to wear some ugly-ass grandma glasses:

Good luck in tenth grade!


It's A Log You Idiots, part of a continuing series:

(Congrats to "Johnny" for winning last week's Name This Feature contest.)


For the same price, the Shimmering Hourglass Table:


A medal you can wear to show your participation in the Console Wars:

You guys know I can't stand this sort of nostalgia-humping, but I thought the design was pretty neat. Plus, you know, I like medals. Duh.


Ross McBride's computer faces concept:


I guess this week's entry has been pretty negative. I try to make Affluenza mostly about stuff I actually like, but this week I just kept running into THE STUPIDEST SHIT.

Like a mirror with a faucet and a bucket stuck to it:

Or a table in the shape of an ostrich butt:

Ugh, that one was the last straw...I'm done for the week. Affluenza out.

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