Wednesday, November 26

Affluenza: November 26

Tiger? More like "Aztec Frog Anatomy," amirite?
I wonder what kind of table someone who wore this dress would have in their living room...

Ah, yes.

Don't miss Lydia's comment, either.

These are so cool. I can't find the link now, but Shimizu also made a pair of wedding bands that features the waveform of the bride and groom saying "I do."
 Maybe it's time for a new Affluenza series: Conceptual Art I Actually Like.


Looks like something Steamboy would wear.

Weird, this ish has featured both Aztecs AND Mayans...

Don't tell anyone, but this is what I'm getting the designers at the agency for Christmas...

This is pretty neat, but I'm really only featuring this because of the adorable Order button. It's Perfect, it says, then when you roll over it, the button changes to I'll Take It.

Friday, November 14

Affluenza: November 14

Case Dining And Coffee Table
Finally, a solution for all those times you need to transport your coffee table with you.

Molly sends us this encouraging news that two Affluenza features may thankfully be coming to an end: these ugly, stupid ceramic holders feature both Open Flames and a fake Log, and has been marked down more than half price recently.

It's A Log, You Idiots: Wood Yoyo
I think I saw those two designers selling used VHS tapes at the flea market a few weeks ago.

There's a website called "Mod Cloth" and it only features women's clothes? Lame.

If you knew someone who was really into anime that featured tentacle love, this would be a pretty awesome gift.

Awesome. I can't believe I've never taken pictures of my Donald J. Pliner shoes that feature this same leather effect. Someone remind me to do that...they are, no lie, my absolute prized possessions. That, and my integrity.

What the hell. First of all, that knot is needlessly fussy looking. There are few things less rewarding than looking like you're trying too hard with your scarf. Second of all, fifty bucks to anyone who can actually decipher these directions.
I'm mostly only posting this so I can link again to this simple scarf tutorial, which features all the scarf styling you'll ever need to know in this life. 
In my own daily scarf-wearing, I usually go with the style known as Wrap It Around A Few Times And Then Mess With It All Day In Aggravation.

Mom! Moooooooooooooooom!!!!

Affluenza recommends the red.

Whoa. Gorgeous...and don't miss the liner.

A golden bathtub, y'all.

The problem with any Internet-based criticism is that you don't want to be that guy just yelling "Fail" at everything. But seriously, nothing else needs to be said about these fiascos. Ahem: FAIL.

Toaster Concept: Darth Vader Toaster

The Keep Calm people have spent the last couple of years trying to build on the popularity of their Keep Calm And Carry On posters, but all of their other designs either fall flat or are just plain ugly. This Keep It Simple poster is the only work of theirs that I think even comes close to interesting. Pity about the $56...

In an earlier Affluenza, I talked about how "price available upon request" is usually just a synonym for "get fucked." However, The New York Times recently investigated the phenomenon, and uncovered a truth that surprised even me: "price available upon request" often means "we don't actually make this."

Monday, November 10

Babies Ruthless

A Grammar Note:

The plural of Attorney General is Attorneys General.
The plural of court martial is courts martial.
The plural of Whopper Junior is Whoppers Junior.

Thursday, November 6

Affluenza: November 6

The Boogie Man Rug puts monsters under your kid's bed:


MOMA is doing a couple of interesting things with bananas. First is
the Banana Bunker, which protects your banana from being squished in

Though, as others have pointed out, it doesn't protect your banana so
much as transform it into dildo.

(Also, is banana squishage that significant of a problem? So much so
that the Museum Of Modern Art had to tackle it?)

Next is the Banana Stopper:

Ha ha! It's a real-world representation of those cartoon banana peels!
You know, those banana peels that were always getting wedged under
doors and holding them open!

I love the Germanic product explanation: "Slide the banana peel under
the door to hold it open and amuse those who enter." Ha ha! Thanks,
Mr. Spock!


The Pramulator:


The Bar At Connaught:


A riddle: is it still a Target lamp if it's two hunny AND isn't
actually sold at Target?

Another lamp I like is the Atlas:

Also available as a floor lamp.


Typotheque pocket calendar:


Gus Modern takes on the It's A Log You Idiots idiots with their really
quite lovely side table:




Tuesday, November 4