Affluenza: April 9

If I liked illustrated pillows--I don't--I would like this illustrated pillow:

http://www.jennarose.ca/2008_spring/home_decor/pillows/rooftops.html

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From GeoCities, the cutting edge of high design, comes the work of Tamsin van Essen:

http://www.geocities.com/vanessendesign/index.html

Oh brother...the Medical Heirloom series "appears to have been affected by various hereditary diseases – osteoporosis, psoriasis, acne, cancer, syphilis. As heirlooms, the jars can be passed down through the generations of a family in the same way as the medical conditions: a legacy of ill health."

Students!

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An interview with designer Nikolay Saveliev:

http://futureshipwreck.com/?p=186

"I like the idea of a consolidated aesthetic totality; what you make looks like what you listen to, sounds like what you wear, and speaks like what you believe in. In simpler terms, my girlfriend might look like she's in a band I'd listen to, my haircut looks like it belongs in the chair I'm sitting in, and the work I'm designing might be written about in a book that I would read. Even my cat has to figure in there somehow. It's a meticulous thing to maintain..."

Proper.

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A reader writes that this spatula is "just (strangely) viscerally gross," and I couldn't agree more:

http://www.kitchencontraptions.com/archives/017343.php (NSFW)

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Gas masks are pretty played out, but these are amazing:

http://www.diddovelema.com/designergasmasks/index2.html

I hope these become a thing.

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I'm not sure what a "lifestyle globe" is, but how lovely:

http://www.designerblog.it/post/2520/devign-lifestyle-globe

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Oh puke:

http://www.revolveclothing.com/DisplayProduct.jsp?product=COMM-MZ18&c=Common+Projects&d=b

Apparently their target market is "that guy who only dresses up twice a year and thinks nobody notices his dress shoes are really Doc Martins."

Oh puke, times a million:

http://www.oki-ni.com/invt/js0018navy

"These shoes feature laser-cut cutouts from the shoes' sides - exposing the wearer's feet and providing a stylish but airy solution" to ever getting laid again.

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Less than overwhelming response for the Celia Birtwell for Express line:

http://racked.com/archives/2008/04/08/flops_celia_birtwell_bows_at_e.php

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Any attempt at wit or subtlety fails in the face of this monstrosity.

http://interiordesignroom.blogspot.com/2008/04/evolution-by-nacho-carbonell.html

WHAT. THE FUCK.

Nacho, this is a FAILURE. It sucks, and you should feel bad. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you're not cut out for the career you're pursuing? I'm not kidding, this isn't a joke, and I'm not trying to motivate you to try harder. The sooner you admit to yourself that you might not have it in you, the sooner you'll find a way to be happy in your life. Not everyone has to be creative. Thank your parents and your friends for their support, get your resume together, and find a way to pay back your student loans. There's no shame in knowing that you weren't able to best a challenge of overwhelming odds, that after using all of the resources and talents you had at your disposal you looked inside of yourself and found yourself lacking. Passion wasn't enough, and believing in yourself wasn't enough. There's a certain honor in walking away, in quitting, in working an honest job and then saying "I'm home" to the simple conventional chair and the simple conventional table where you eat your dinner. I can tell you from my own experience, man to man, that it may never be easy, but it gets easier every day.

(Bitchin' name, though. "Nacho!")

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This cute Eddy Rocker is probably intended for nurseries, but I bet you could pull it off elsewhere:

http://www.zacandzoe.com/nurserybedroom/ddeddyrocker.html

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I guess I'm being really negative this week, so let me try to JESUS CHRIST HOW RETARDED:

http://www.coroflot.com/public/individual_file.asp?individual_id=125143&portfolio_id=492789&specialty=4&sort_by=1&c=1&

Boy, the home design and fashion world has been really uninspiring this week. I didn't even have a single entry for this until Monday. I flipped through the new Domino in about ten minutes, then tossed it.

HOWEVER, let's end on a good note. No, wait, not just a good note, but a hilariously awesome note. Ready?

***KARL LAGERFELD APPEARS IN THE NEW GRAND THEFT AUTO GAME***

http://men.style.com/news/blog/2008/04/karl-lagerfelds.html

He's creating a custom radio station for the game, that you can play as you drive around, as well as providing "off-color commentary." (!). Sadly, he's not a playable character, but how awesome would that be? All beating up hookers with your elaborate gothic pewter rings?

Okay, now I have the strength to carry on. See you next week.